I haven’t blogged for a month or two. Sorry about that. I’m working on some pieces now actually. So please keep reading.
Here’s some new pics:
Despite living 15 minutes from Washington DC, I don’t visit it nearly as often as I wish. DC is one of the most underrated cities; people get caught up with the political element and forget we’re more than just staffers/interns on the Hill and blowjobs.
A few weeks ago, I went to a chihuahua race over by the waterfront area of DC.
Chihuahuas beer of choice couldnt be more obvious.
Lola and Delores stole the show. Their owner hand sewed these costumes himself.
Walking past this empty swimming pool, all I could think of was that anti-drug commercial from the 80s where the chick is about to dive into a pool. You see her posture on the diving board, about to leap, then the camera pans to the pool and OH SHIT
DONT DO ITTTT !!!!!!!
there’s NO WATER IN THE POOL. !!!!!!!!!!!! And she DOESNT KNOW. She’s about to DIVE into CONCRETE. BECAUSE THAT’S HOW BAD DRUGS ARE, KIDS! Smoke a little reefer, next thing you know, all your inhibitions and awareness of your surroundings are gone with the wind and these type of uncomfortable Stephen King consequences are next.
In Capitol Hill, I strolled along the sidewalk taking pictures with my freshly repaired iPhone. When you’re as rough on things and as clumsy as me, even a protective case will not be enough. Luckily, there’s a repair shop in Cap Hill.
Man’s best friend, especially on the Hill.
Psychics will solve all of your life problems for just $100.
If East Coast met West Coast, this would be their default pic. Cap Hill sky / TUPAC lyrics
One of the best features of the iPhone is all the 8,000,000 apps at my fingertips; particularly photo and writing apps– a favorite is ‘Verses Poetry Creator.’
The layout is just like those word tiles you see on fridges and other magnetic-friendly surfaces. A selection of words is provided in your “word drawer,” which is customizable. Pick vocabulary from the Mix-Tionary categories: Shakespeare, Hip Hop, New, Old school, Beatnik and more… and mash them all up! Go poet, go poet, go! And now…..
Some of my creations:
I made this w/ a few good apps and a pic from my vacation in Cabo San Lucas. Quote by: Henry Rollins
I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.
Do you agree?
After much encouragement to try an online dating service, I decided to go the el cheapo route and signed up for Plenty of Fish. My inbox was immediately bombarded with messages, most consisting of one or two incoherent sentences. One gentleman caller stood out from the rest, and after communicating for a few months, I drove from Washington DC to Richmond to meet him in real life.
I followed his driving directions, but upon arriving at my final destination, I realized I was outside of a halfway house. He was standing there with a backpack. He looked the same as his pictures until he smiled. Both of his front teeth were missing.
I tried to make do by going to a public place with this guy to kill some time before I could exit gracefully. We went to a bar where he talked of his sobriety and pounded Red Bulls.
He was interrupted by a tall, lanky, transient-looking man who asked, “Hey man wasn’t I locked up with you?”
My date responds, “Yo! Yes man how’s it been? I knew you looked familiar.”
After catching up for a few minutes, his inmate friend left and my date filled me in on the fact that he had gone to prison in his “past” (read: recently released) for narcotics trafficking and assault with malicious intent.
We never saw each other again, but he called my phone at least once every few months for five years, to leave a message that I’m “always in heart and mind.” Our date was seven years ago.
(originally printed on My Very Worst Date in 2009. And guess what? I made the BEST OF page.)