Life Continues

That pretty much says it all doesnt it? I spent the day spring cleaning.

It feels good to let go of crap. Why do I wait so long to remember this absolute fact? It’s all so symbolic of the past self-induced mental anguish I put myself through instead of letting go of people and things that in at the end of the day, are referred to as “baggage.” Like that spanish guy said on a never-ending flight from Milwaukee to Dc, “Don’t punish yourself!”

With some new space in my head comes new curiosities. Last night while cleaning out my closet, my roommate remarked, quite off-handedly, that I only date jerks. I had to correct him: “Used to only date jerks. And there was one guy who was not a world-class asshole.” Back in my closet, alone, I sat amongst mis-matched shoes and the whole mess and mentally flipped him off for a few minutes. It was bad enough I was finding outfits left and right that I remember wearing with these past dalliances, without Dr Phil over in the next room spouting off the Final Thought. Lighten up, Francis!

This new revelation added a new spin to my spring cleaning and on top of that I’m on a diet. “The game’s all changed cuz’ the truth looks strange,” in the words of the late Tupac Shakur. I am ready for a grown-up relationship with a man. By god, a stable, emotionally available man who I like looking at as well as like being with, and have full-filling amazing sex. Oh yeah. I understand what I will and will not tolerate from people. I get what being part of a relationship means, and under the right circumstances with the right person, it can make life easier. I mean, that’s what it should do.

It’s a good starting point.

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