Deep thoughts about my Love Life

My love life has always been strange.  I rarely get involved in committed relationships with men.  I just haven’t found one I can husband-up.  That doesn’t mean I never get laid; once in a while I’ll get it in with an old stand-by.  He is like a recurring one-night stand.  It’s normal and a bit dysfunctional all at the same time.  Why don’t I date?  Why have I learned to separate my heart from my body? 

Lately, I get ‘that feeling’ late at night, lying in bed.  I think to myself, “I’d do better with someone lying next to me.”  I’m craving something new:  steady human companionship.  Security.  Someone stable with whom to cuddle, if you will.  Living with a man is something I’ve never done.  I spent 7 consecutive days with a boyfriend once, when we were on vacation. 

Now at 31, the desire to have a man around is stronger.  Just need to find the right one.  Someone who “gets” me… and is as crazy about me as I am for him.  It will happen.  Will it happen online?  Probably not.  I don’t do internet dating.  Don’t trust my own judgement, plus the whole process makes me nervous.  It’s not natural, dammit!

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