Note to self: PUBLISH this tonight
I hate blogging, but I love writing. When I’m “blogging,” I feel a pressure to live up to what I ASSUME and IMAGINE is of the readers satisfaction and liking, and in turn that stresses me out. (Fellow bloggers: Does this ever happen to you?) I decide not to blog at all. But then, one day I check my wordpress stats and see the numbers. It always comes down to numbers, doesn’t it? And the realization is this: No del bloggo= no one would have seen anything I’ve written. No matter what, I will always write. All this jibber jabber could be just pages of sloppy handwriting in a composition notebook that I’ll probably end up burning one day. Microsoft ? Wordperfect? Files? Folders? Thumbdrives? My writing would still end up in the digital trashcan eventually. I would let it go because sometimes going back is not so good for the soul.
Au contrair, 79sparrows! Re-reading some of my past bloggings can be a great feeling. In some cases, I don’t appreciate my own writings until years have passed. Even then, I’m glad it’s not just me reading my own stuff. What is the point I guess? There’s a reason for everything, even my miserable poetry. People will read it and hopefully return to read more. Almost 100k have kept their eye upon the sparrow. 🙂 Numbers don’t lie.
Writing is the only thing I’ve stuck with in life. Ideas are always pouring out. Pen and paper are as powerful as the heartbeat of a falcon. As 79sparrows approaches 100,000 hits, I hope to reveal the product that is in my heart. THANK YOU for reading my stuff.
And anyway, even if I stopped writing for myself I’d still write for Liz. She encouraged me to read and write. When I say encouraged, I mean borderline pressured. It was great. It kept me going and I didn’t even notice because she made it all so fun. She truly enjoyed all my poetry, even the depressed ones. And reading my stories about stuff like my father eating the entire loaf of bread we had shipped from Illinois.
I’ll write all about Liz and the fucked up cancer. Another time.
For now, I’m about to enjoy some salt n peppa shrimp from Kumo. If there is a KUMO near you, run, don’t walk to your phone and ORDER this dish. It is CELESTIAL. Fried shrimp dry cooked w/ salt & peppy and then laid extravagantly atop a bed of shredded lettuce and slices of jalepenos. The spring rolls are amazing too. Pretty much everything on the menu is above average in taste. Puts all other asian restaraunts to shame, and another thing: here’s to ASIAN BISTROS. A little bit of everything, just how I like it.