The Long Facebook Fart

Mobile Myspace.
I’m so there.

Six years ago, I titled this post Why I Went Back to Myspace and Began Tweeting, saved it as a draft, and forgot about it.  Well, guess what, I’m back to somewhat wrap up this piece and let it be great.

Facebook is a place i rarely go.  Why?  Because I don’t want to scroll through 400 opinions, random thoughts, and memories every day.  PLUS, there’s simply not enough time in the day.  Even on a day where I lay on the couch, staring at my phone, there are 20 other apps I busy myself with instead of the networking hub called “Facebook.”   Facebook had it’s moments the first year or two…before business colleauges, high school throwbacks,  real life friends, internet friends, (WHOA) associates, neighbors, and entire family, including my mother joined in.

Do you remember the days before Facebook took over social networking?

Listen here, kiddies, it used to be fun.  My favorite platform of all time was MySpace.  My page was MY own little world:   completely customized to be all about ME, ME, ME, dahling!   I could see what other people were up to if I wanted to go outside my space and visit theirs.

Status updates were minimal and news feeds weren’t shoved up in my grill 24/7.

Let me make something clear:  the Facebook ‘formula’ is set up to be a big pit of misery.  Statuses are no longer a hierarchical platform to pass info or post casual updates.  Why?

Validation and approval?  Sought from practically everyone one has ever known in life, in all its different phases.  Now, those phases, for better or worse, are all merged.   The connections previously, existed ambiguously, comfortably compartmentalized.

Nope, we live in public now. So, those days are….over.

My family, friends, neighbors, school alumni, teachers, and co-workers all come together for one non-stop update.   To disagree w/ someone else’s “status update” is practically viewed as ‘being negative.’ Enter Twitter.  Read these tweets:

and… EXHALE. Now. Wasn’t that refreshing? A character limit is nothing short of a Hail Mary when it comes to social networking. Give people too much free space, and we will fill it with the type of thoughts we used to keep to ourselves.

Examples:

“Ready to get on my plane!”

“Should I have a salad today or hamburger?”

“Wheres the best car wash in town?”

“My kid had his first fart today. Proud mommy.”)

Narrating our lives and judging it thru a massive monitor lens of a network’s reaction.

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