The Long Facebook Fart

Six years ago, I titled this post Why I Went Back to Myspace and Began Tweeting, saved it as a draft, and forgot about it.  Well, guess what, I’m back to somewhat wrap up this piece and let it be great. Facebook is a place i rarely go.  Why?  Because I don’t want to scroll…

Featured: 3 Twitter Accounts for Fun

I tweet.  I’ll admit it. Facebook is just too stressful and heavy; apparently that’s what happens when you don’t put a character limit on posts.  It’s easy to be entertaining with a long rambling diatribe about the bad luck you had on the way into work, but to make your point in 140 keystrokes or…

I’m in the house like furniture baby

Today’s Song of the Day is funny as hell and this beat is palatial! “White Boy” by Dirt Nasty Also seen in Scary Movie 3, Dirt played “George,” an aspiring rapper. (8mile/Eminem satire hehehe)

Messing with Liars

How many Nigerian-esque scam emails show up in your inbox per day?   I get them every day.  Today, I responded: Subject: Dear Beloved To: 79sparrows@gmail.com From: parker@googlemail.com Date: Fri, 4 May 2012 06:24:32 -0500 Dear Beloved in Christ, I am Mrs.Mary Parker an aging widow suffering from long time illness. I have some funds I…

Brain Drain / Feb2012

Statistical verification.  What could be more fun? Playing in traffic?  I’ve spent the last two workdays comparing new spreadsheets to old spreadsheets.  With a red pen, I place a dot next to numbers that I’ve checked against the original source.  I hate it & several times during the day, I excuse myself to the first-floor…

Big Ups to Myself!

You!  You are not bad at all, ya know that? The “Top Ten Creepiest Places in the USA”  piece I wrote last year is even better the second time.

I Didn’t See This Coming

 Life: full of surprises, and the ironies are spectacular.   50 Cent’s twitter  is hilarious.  My open aversion towards Curtis Jackson has been reversed.  The man who always seemed to take himself way too seriously, is actually getting better with age.   50 even got his dog, OprahTheDog, to open a Twitter account. Then there’s the unaffiliated English50Cent, who…

Stimulation

And when I say ‘stimulation,’   I’m not talking about anything sexytimes related. I mean the rush.  Any rush will do. When I was 12, my grandmother gave me a cappucino machine for Christmas.  She lived in Rhode Island so it arrived as a package in the mail.  (exciting)   I’d recently discovered coffee, and it was so…

Confession

I just downloaded Eminem’s new lp, “Recovery,” off Itunes.  As in, I bought the whole album all at once.  It’s a rare occurence.  Most usually, I pick and choose one or 2 songs from each artist.  Remember when you had to buy the entire cd at once?  For instance:  BON JOVI  /  NEW JERSEY. 1988,…

UNPLUG

You are something I’ve never tried before. Life is tricky.  So easy to settle for shit and not even notice.   Then you came along and I started remembering things. We have so much to talk about.  You asked where my family lives.  A simple question but I liked telling you all about it. First, allow…

Sh*t My Dad Says

If you need a laugh, “Shit My Dad Says” by Justin Halpern brings  just that, with nostalgic flair.  A book like this couldn’t have come along at a better time.

After the “friends with benefits” are Gone

It has been 5 months or so since I engaged in sexytimes.   I like sex.  Just not so much that I’ll associate with the men with whom I used to have sexual relations.   These men were not “boyfriends,” just that old cliché’  known as  “friends with benefits.”  During my 20s, these faux relationships seemed worth it, since I didnt…