The Long Facebook Fart

Six years ago, I titled this post Why I Went Back to Myspace and Began Tweeting, saved it as a draft, and forgot about it.  Well, guess what, I’m back to somewhat wrap up this piece and let it be great. Facebook is a place i rarely go.  Why?  Because I don’t want to scroll…

You followed 79sparrows.

THANK YOU. Just now, sitting in a candlelit sunroom, I received a New Follower notification (you know who you are, Emily), and it reminded me I’m a big fat liar.  A week or so has passed since my last post, which proclaimed my return to writing.   But, I also carry the trump card(eh. Not…

Meet The Internet

Bored?   The Internet is just a click away. The act of signing online has radically changed into basically always being online.  The internet is no longer closely associated with desktop computers.  My phone is a miniature computer hooked into the internet.  I’m not going to sit here and tell you about the science behind all…

Relax

From me to u. You know nobody really escapes anymore, Damn technology. Well, I do. I unplugged that sucker once I crossed the border. My family thought it was unnecessarily bohemian while I prayed for them 😉

New Vocabulary / Slang

Urban Dictionary is a source of endless enlightenment. Here is a grammatically insane selection of terms you may or may not want to drop in your weekend dialogues. The examples used are my personal contributions. JetBlue Balls: When you fly somewhere for a girl and get rejected. Ex: When I was 19, I met a…

Anxiety

Things that stress me out: *Getting out of bed. *Mandatory attendance:Of anything, going to work included. *The Internet:Yeah, I said it. I never realized it, but being online stresses me out, even though it’s one of the first places I go when I’m stressed. Hmm. *My family—I try to make life easier for those I…

iPhone crack cocaine

This iPhone stays with me. At my desk, in the jeep, in the bed, while I sleep All April, may, and June I bring it when I’m in the bathroom On the can, Download three apps, When it’s in my hand, iOS relapse attacks Ever since we’ve been introduced I’ve been running Out of juice…

10 Guilty Pleasures

I’m all about sensations and feeling good. Below are my top ten guilty pleasures. What are YOURS? 10. Nachos. Processed cheese all the way! Shredded cheese is fine too but there’s just something about cheap movie theatre/7-11 nachos that hits the spot. I limit my consumption of nachos to once every few months. 9. Weed…

No love for online

I haven’t blogged much for a while, and that is because it is online. To post something would mean another 30 minutes of sitting still and staring at a rectangular screen.  Staring at the box.  Sorry, 9 hours a day chained to a desk is enough, thank you.  Maybe the computer would still seem fun if…

Running Out of Time (to spend eff’ing off)

I have ADD.  If you don’t believe in that, more power to you.  Of course, it is over-diagnosed and over-sensationalized.  ADD is not an excuse to act like an a$$.   It is possible to get a grip over things like interrupting people when they are talking, even unmedicated.    Just be quiet and wait for silence….

internet junkmail

TO:  79sparrows@gmail.com 9/27/2010 Hey it’s JJ, your favorite old fart.    I’ve been receiving US Postal mailings since I was 12, and I’m 69 this December,  so do the math.  I remember when junk mail didnt even exist.  Now I open the mailbox and it’s all junk and a few bills.  Anyway I’ve only been using…

Free Advice: Update from JJ

To:  79sparrows@gmail.com Date: 09/21/10  JJ reporting in.  Thanks for the insight, {link},  I still read the ‘real’ Washington Post everyday.  Who needs to check the internet every 10 minutes to see what’s going on in the world?  Sometimes not knowing right away makes life more fun.  I’m not trying to say the younger generations have…